I have posted about awesome alcohol infused art in the past, but Dutch arteest Marti Guixe has just raised the bar.  I give you, museum exhibition, GAT Fog, which stands for — the Gin and Tonic Fog Party! It uses meteorological technology, typically utilized by farmers to create the installation, to instead, pump gin and tonic into the air! I don’t know if the gin will give me liver cancer, or the tonic a heart block, but I am willing to risk it. Imagine the possibilities with this thing! Just put it in my room, turn it on, and start inviting people over. Mac execs, who neglect to give me a free Mac Air, yep, a half hour in the GAT room - it’d be mine. Tom Cruise, so I can kick him in the hair cut without a fight and toss him into a pint of beer where he will then drown to death - easy as pie!

Thinking about it though, the first time I used the GAT in my basement, something weird happened. I mean I was just chilling out, wasted, and half asleep with my mouth on the nozzle, when out of no where my boyfriend comes in and starts asking me to perform all this ludacris, idiotic tasks like “take the dog out” and “fix some dinner”. And my drunk behind actually went and did them! Of course, I do not know how happy he was when for dinner I made cereal and accidentally mistook bourbon for milk. Whoops. Yeah, no wonder that tasted so horrible. He won’t allow me near the GAT anymore, demon.

As if gamers who are already going ungodly hours without sleep playing Mario Galaxy needed help from their favorite speed demon, there is a new* Super Mario energy drink -”Power Up!” - ready to catapult their asses into sleepless brain damage. Now you can host your gamer parties with these puppies - and vodka. Or stay up long enough to get the princess alone to prove maybe she isn’t cock tease. Ehhhh, unlikely.

The 8.4 oz drink, which proves no sector is safe from Super Mario Bro’s grasp, apparently tastes like “blue-raspberry”. Which is a shame because I was hoping it would follow through with its mushroom advertising on the can. I guess it’s not all bad though, considering the last time I ate a mushroom like that Winston Zeddmore showed up on my doorstep and cajoled me into drinking my weight in bourbon and then driving my ex boyfriends car into a river. Yikes, shouldn’t have let me keep those keys.

(*Yes, this drink was released in past times, but with recent questioning I discovered many people did not know of it’s awesomeness. Now you know!)

All good things in life should come in permanent and inseparable two’s. Peanut butter and jelly, football and enormous tailgates, me and George Clooney and, of course, art and cocktails. German arteest H.Broecker knows exactly what I mean. A new exhibition in Dresden, Germany featured his piece “Drink Away The Art”. Several flat, plastic containers were mounted onto the wall, which dispensed fruity and colorful cocktails.  Mmm … cocktails. Glasses were placed on the floor, where visitors could snag one, get right and then wander like staggering idiots through the city streets, flashing their privates and blaming “the art, man”. And for those of you who hate art, this little interactive diddy puts a hole in your liquor soaked blanket, sorry. Awesome, awesome invention.

This reminds me of that time in preschool when our art activity of the day was to blow bubbles into heavily pigmented paint water through a straw. I accidentally drank some it - whoops. I was embarrassed of course, and felt like a moron at first, but not as moronic as the middle aged preschool teachers who let their four-year-olds take a straw to PAINT WATER.