The Hollywood Asshole hates a lot of TV. The Hollywood Asshole predicted Studio 60 would be cancelled long before everyone and their dog realized that the Emperor (Aaron Sorkin) had no clothes. The Hollywood Asshole knows a lot of things about television. One thing is true: Cavemen is actually a decent show. Ask yourself, How many episodes have I seen? If it’s one, then slap yourself.

Take Jimbuktu. The guy thinks Cavemen sucks. Has he seen the show? Maybe once or maybe once and then ten minutes of a second episode. DOES NOT COUNT. It’s actually a funny show. Honestly, what else are you going to watch Tuesdays on network television at 8:00pm? Dancing With the Stars? Fine, if you’re a midwestern woman named Bess who wears a pink sweatshirt with white sweatpants to the Country Buffet. Bones? Fine, if you enjoy such dynamic one-liners like “What’s with the dummy, dummy?” and “It’s not the size that matters.” NCIS? Fine, if you’re a senior citizen that is scared of walking outside. The Biggest Loser or Beauty and the Geek? Fine, if you’re a total fucking retard.

First off, forget they’re cavemen. They hardly touch the whole “people are against us because we’re cavemen” plot device. The guys are 30-something douches, but good douches. They just happen to be cavemen, like Brian on Family Guy happens to be a dog. When you think of it like that, the show will appeal to you. You got cameos from Maurice, the caveman from the commercials, being all pimped out at a party, wearing a suit jacket with the sleeves rolled up and wearing sandals with no socks. He goes, “The ladies aren’t going to sex themselves…or ARE they?” then smirks and mingles. C’mon, TV needs a guy like Maurice.

Cavemen is a good show and whoever thinks differently is wrong and stupid and I hate them and they should drown. Oh, I know it’ll be cancelled. The show had to be AMAZING in order for narrow-minded people like JIMBUKTU to embrace it. It is only good.

Can you believe people actually sit around and discuss the merits of each episode of the new sitcom, “Cavemen”? My only question for them is, WHY GOD? WHY?

I can think of a plethora of things I’d rather do during the 30 minutes that ABC’s paint-by-numbers tripe airs, and that includes rearranging my living room, replacing every light bulb in the house, or jamming a pencil into my dickhole.

Read that forum thread I posted above. I still can’t tell if it’s a work of cutting satire — these guys might be that clever — or simply a legit discussion amongst “Cavemen” fanboys. If the latter is the case, I hope they die of gonorrhea … and rot in hell.