Grand Theft Auto IV
The Hollywood Asshole is a huge fan of the Grand Theft Auto series. For months and months, I have been waiting for GTA IV. I bought a PS3 and an HDTV mainly for this game. I took off work when the game was released. It has been a little over a month since the game hit the shelves and I’m done with it - I beat the story about a week ago, but I still play because it’s fucking GTA and the games are meant to be enjoyed even after the story.
For those who don’t know, the game focuses on Niko Bellic, a veteran of the Serbian War turned criminal, who has been invited to Liberty City by his cousin, Roman Bellic, who claims to be living the American Dream: living in a mansion, fucking four girls a night, owning many sports cars etc. Niko accepts the invitation and arrives to the city, only to find out that Roman lied - he lives in a shitty apartment, runs a small taxi depot and is debt with numerous criminals thanks to a gambling addiction. Thus begins Grand Theft Auto IV, a journey into the criminal underworld of a satirical version of New York City, where shallow materialism is rampant, post-9/11 hysteria has overtaken common sense and everyone seems to be an asshole in some way or another.
The game is massive and beautiful. You begin in Broker (Brooklyn) and Dukes (Queens). As you help your cousin out with criminals who are after him (i.e. killing them), you gain unwanted attention from even bigger fish. Unlike Vice City, Liberty City Stories or Vice City Stories, this game isn’t really about taking over. In San Andreas, you took over turf, but CJ never really became much other than a rap manager for Madd Dogg. In GTA IV, Niko kills important people, but all he ever gets is money (and a safehouse in just one mission…and that’s optional). He goes from rags to better rags.
Niko is by far the best character in any GTA game to date. He beats Tommy Vercetti only because of an in-depth backstory and a cool twist on why he does what he does. Vercetti was just a psycho killer who wanted power. Carl “CJ” Johnson of San Andreas often didn’t make sense to be a GTA protagonist because he seemed like too good a person. The worst was Victor Vance of Vice City Stories, who was a good person and had major qualms with dealing drugs, but he did so anyway, contradicting his character. Niko, however, is fully aware he is a killer, despite the fact that he is generally nice to people. He has accepted his role as a hired gun, but is depressed about it. He reminds me of Leon from “The Professional” in that aspect. Niko also has major flaws, such as being unable to forget his past.
The game also has great characters. Roman, while annoying and a buffoon, soon evolves into someone that greatly cares for Niko. Little Jacob, a Rastafarian, is easily Niko’s greatest ally in the game and possibly the greatest friend in GTA history - he never betrays you and insists on joining you for missions when he feels Niko is walking into a trap. Brucie, a loudmouth steroid popper, is a macho moron but he and Niko become unlikely friends. Brucie is the satiricial epitome of the current American male - he works out non-stop, he talks about boning chicks, has Chinese characters tattooed on his body, yaks on about cool Internet sites and says “bro” way too often. He is probably the funniest character in any GTA game I’ve played.
The game does have flaws, but the positives greatly outweigh them. There are a ton of geeks out there on the Internet who claim the game should only get a 6/10 due to these flaws, but there is something mentally wrong with them. These people must never be happy with anything in their life if the minor bad shit in GTA IV upsets them so greatly. It really tells you a lot about their mental state. For a game so massive to have so little wrong with it is incredibly impressive. Remember, this an open sandbox game and it has GREAT graphics! The ones on PS2 had OK graphics because the world was so large. Now we finally have a huge world and amazing looking graphics, but the geeks just bitch how it isn’t as big as San Andreas, there are fewer customizing options and the game is too realistic, i.e. it doesn’t have many action movie missions, where you blow up a dam or something. Guess what the biggest gripe was with San Andreas? It was too big, there were too many customizing options and it was too unrealistic i.e. blowing up a dam or something. The geeks are never fucking happy, but that’s why they are geeks, complaining to each other on message boards when they should be having a real life. Honestly, I was a geek in high school, but I was never anything compared to the elitist “gamer” set of geeks on the Internet who insult everyone non-stop using racial and homophobic slurs. It’s disgusting, but the anonymity of the Internet lets them think it’s OK. I’m sorry, but you people are not gamers - you are geeks. That is it. Accept it. It’s a title you bestowed upon yourselves, like hillbillies wanting to be called “Sons of the Soil.” You geeks are pathetic complainers and when you get older, you will have no one to love and you will die alone with your dicks in your hands. Now go post a pic of a lolcat or a faildog.
Anyway…
Here are the flaws that I found: my main gripe is the story falls apart a bit when the game moves to Bohan (Bronx). You are introduced to Manny Escuela, who is a completely pointless character. Instead, they should have removed him and given his missions to Elizabeta Torres, a far more interesting character that you only work for three times before she’s gone from the story. The Bohan missions are a complete throwaway. The story gets back on track when you move on into Algonquin (Manhattan) and have to make a pretty difficult decision in killing either Playboy X or Dwayne Forge, two gangsters who ask you to kill the other. While the choice overall is easy, Niko makes good points about not killing either, and it was a surprisingly tough choice.
But then the game putters out again when a government agency makes you work for them in exchange for a favor. It reminded me too much of Mike Toreno in San Andreas - both games had a big problem that were resolved by a shady government agency. Then the game gets back on track when the McReary’s are introduced, but I didn’t really care about Derrick McReary or Kate McReary. The game tries to introduce Kate as Niko’s love interest, but I didn’t buy it. I couldn’t care less about them. Near the end, the game goes back to familiar GTA territory with Italian mafia wars, which was a letdown.
There are also several glitches. The game froze on me while I was playing darts and again when I parked in front of a fire hydrant as I picked up a friend. The friend didn’t know what to do and just stood there - it was a semi-cutscene as he walked to the car, so I couldn’t pull up to let him in. I had no choice but to restart. That’s all I dealt with regarding glitches, I’m happy to say.
I wasn’t a huge fan of the friendship system. You have a total of five friends in the game (one optional) and they call you to hangout. It’s annoying since you have to drive a ways to get to them and then usually do a fairly lame mini-game, but they offer a special ability when they like you enough. The majority of the abilities get pointless - Roman’s ability is a free taxi when you call him, but you’re so rich later on, a $30 taxi ride doesn’t matter much and they’re usually everywhere. The same applies with Jacob’s discounted guns. I’d say the best ability is Dwayne’s (an optional friend since you can kill him earlier in the game), who sends two homies to your location. I heard you can even call them during missions, which would have been awesome had I learned that before I beat the game. The guys can take a lot of damage, but Niko calls them off after 12 hours gametime. I only tolerated the friendship system because you learn more about Niko and his friend when they chat during the drive.
Grand Theft Auto IV is a great game. Is it my favorite? I think so. I still love Vice City and San Andreas, but this game transcended them graphics-wise and character-wise so much. Plus Liberty City is beautiful - I never get bored of it. And even the Vigilante missions are much more fun this time around, as are stealing cars for people. It is easily the best game on PS3 right now. If you don’t have it, get it.