Forget the January tradition of spending New Years Day with a hangover. In January 1999, a much greater tradition was unveiled to the world, the Royal Rumble Lottery. In a time when wrestling was great, my friends and I devised a way to make it exponentially better … by adding in gambling. Yeah, yeah, yeah; maybe it is pathetic to gamble on predetermined professional wrestling. But so what. Regardless of its level of patheticness, this is a tradition that has withstood the test of time, and pound for pound, it has made for some of the best 60 minute time spans of my life.
It all started prior to the January,1999 edition of the WWF’s annual Royal Rumble PPV. Here, friendly banter over which of the odds on favorites would win (Stone Cold and the nefarious Vince McMahon) quickly snowballed into an ugly argument where all of us were so confident in our opinions, we bet money over it. But instead of having multiple side bets, we wanted to devise a way for all of us to take part in one larger bet. And devise one we did, because by putting all of our noggins together we came up with one master plan that changed our wrestling experience forever.
The rules: All six of us bet $5. Thirty numbers would be put in a hat (one for each participant in the Rumble), and we would all draw five numbers. Then, during the Rumble, the wrestlers that came out to the numbers you had selected would be your meal ticket, and if one of your guys won the Rumble, you won the pot.
Unfortunately, during drawing of the numbers this tradition was almost killed before it started. In one huge buzzkill, one of my friends drew numbers one and two, the two numbers that were predetermined to be the numbers of Austin and McMahon, which more or less meant he was going to win the money. Thankfully, they were ‘eliminated’ early in the match, which caused business to pick up quickly, and before we knew it, everyone was in an uproar and on the edge of their seat vying to win some cash. The next 60 minutes was saturated with yelling, cheering, hopefulness, and some old fashioned good luck. Granted, just like expected, Vinny Mac eventually won and my friend got to reap the cash benefits. However, when it was all said and done, despite most of us being disappointed from losing, we all sat there with a feeling of liveliness. And like the time we realized it was more practical to wipe your ass while sitting than standing, we knew we had stumbled upon something great. A tradition had been born, and both the Royal Rumble and our gambling habits would never be the same again.
As it stands today, except for one year, this tradition has continued for the better part of a decade. Miraculously, it has survived throughout several life transitions, including transferring colleges and entering a career, as well as wrestling being nowhere near as good as it used to be. And surpsingly, it has also survived me somehow being able to find people just as pathetic as I am by being willing to gamble on wrestling.
Undeniably however, this tradition has seen many lowlights. Like the time a friend of a friend of a friend won, or the time a friend scoured the internet to find out who was going to win, and then spoiled the surprise for everyone else. Hell, the tradition has also suffered a blow that included a roommate’s anorexic girlfriend winning, when she was only asked to participate because we needed another person.
But more often then not, this tradition has made for some classic memories that have made me anticipate the Royal Rumble like it’s Christmas. From the time when we increased the bet from $5 per person to $10, and went from six participants to ten to fifteen, to the time the winner instantly spent his winnings on a 30 pack for the other participants. And who could forget the time a friends picks landed him three Mexicans, or the time the luck of the draw scored a friend the “retarded” or the “gay” wrestler. And of course, one can’t overlook the classic and countless times we have found ourselves aligned with lame wrestlers, like the Blue Meanie or half a tag team, because it’s all but guaranteed those guys have a better chance of being eliminated in record time than they do of winning. But personally, the crowning moment of this decade of gambling lunacy was in 2007, when after seven consecutive losses, I finally won. The money was mine, and just like the actual winner of the Rumble, it felt like I was on my way to Wrestlemania for a title shot. Life was good.
All in all, some people think my friends and I are quite sad and pathetic for doing this every year, and unfortunately, it’s not very easy to argue against that. But regardless of anyone’s opinion, it’s a tradition that has made for some classic times, and it’s a tradition I would recommend to anyone who plans on watching the Royal Rumble. And if all goes as planned, as far as I am concerned, this year I will become the first ever back to back Royal Rumble Lottery winner. But if I don’t, I am not too worried. At this pace, I don’t see his tradition going anywhere for a while. I’ll get more chances.
