I used to love anime and Final Fantasy, but I think the Japanese and I don’t quite click.  When I think of manliness, I think this:

When the Japanese think of manliess, they think this:

This is actually the most manly picture I found. Seriously. So I guess Japan is stuck in the 80’s, when androgyny was the thing that got men laid. That don’t sit well with me. That don’t sit well at all, sir. Why? Because it’s affecting Japan’s video games and animation. Take a look at Vaan, the main character of Final Fantasy XII.

Are you kidding me?! God! And look at that pose! Did anyone in Japan look at that and say, “That’s gay”? Because it is. And the game was only OK at best, but I digress.

Gundam, which I love because I’m a geek, used to be good. Lo and behold, the latest Gundam installment, Gundam 00, has four…men?

Wow, what interesting and diverse characters. From left to right, we have the girly-looking one, the girly-looking one with long hair, the other girly-looking one with long hair and the girly-looking one with long hair that wears glasses. These are all guys, even the one at the right, which is clearly a female design.

For shit’s sake, what is wrong with Japan? They are ruining two of my hobbies. I can’t watch anime anymore. I already shed some of my testicular mass by being a closet fan, but I can’t stomach this crap with the she-males. I can’t play Final Fantasy because the character designs keep getting more and more gay. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay. But this is a totally different…thing. You know what I mean. I now give the animated and computerized media in Japan an ultimatum:

STOP MAKING YOUR MALE CHARACTERS LOOK FEMALE. IF NOT, HAND THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES IN GENERAL TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WHERE IT BELONGS BECAUSE WE’RE COOL AND OWN THE WORLD AND STUFF LIKE THAT. WE ALSO WANT SUMO WRESTLING BECAUSE FAT GUYS SLAPPING EACH OTHER NEVER GETS OLD. ALSO STOP BEING SO SHORT.

Thank you.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 27th, 2007 at 8:38 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.