Court Papers Reveal Britney Spears’ Big Spending
Court papers released Thursday in Britney Spears’ custody dispute with Kevin Federline show she spends lavishly on clothes and entertainment, and doesn’t save or invest any of her roughly $737,000 monthly income.
Some examples of what she spends:
$3,000 - Giant can of Pabst Blue Ribbon with an IV. The IV is inserted directly into her neck, allowing her to smoke at the same time.
$51,000 - Cockfighting ring. Not for roosters, but for actual men that she pays off to spar against each other with their boners.
$30,000 - Free range horses, which are slaughtered hourly just for Spears’ sick enjoyment.
$60,000 - Donated to scientific research for Hepatitis Z, unaware that no such disease exists and that the man asking her for a donation was not a scientist but merely a hobo in a white lab coat that he found in a dumpster.
$20,000 - Addiction to Charleston Chew.
4 cents - Always leaves a penny in the “Leave a Penny, Take a Penny” Tray at her local 7-11, which we all know is just stupid.
$85,000 - Scientology. As a celebrity, she must give some of her money to Scientology. It’s the unspoken Hollywood rule.
$70,000 - Refunds to people who actually ate at her short-lived restaurant “Nyla.”