Like a bat out of hell, Patrick Copeland (and a legion of cronies) have swarmed ZubazPants.com in defense of Larry Johnson memorabilia MANIA.

In case you missed it last time, Patrick Copeland, the above fanatic, has a collection of Larry “Grandmama” Johnson goods that dwarfs the collections of all other fans of things COMBINED!

Like I knew he eventually would, Copeland found my blog entry and replied in the comments section to my accusations of doing such things as collecting LJ pubes and pouring LJ’s wedding wine on his balls when he was feeling down:

“Wow thanks! This article is about me and my collection Yes, I am Larry Johnson’s biggest fan and you shouldn’t be shocked I found this. As I search for pictures of him too…you should have known!

I can assure you I’m not stalker or anything like that. Let me tell you my side of the story so you understand a bit more!

I started to collect L J back in 1990 when I was only 10 years old. He was the best player in the country back then and I enjoyed watching him play at UNLV. After watching him I really noticed his great personality which comes out in his game and how unselfish he was. Then the collection just kept growing and growing to what is today the largest in the world! I’ve followed his career no matter where he went. He really inspired me and left me with some great memories.

In the early 1990’s my parents were really going through some tough times and they turned to drugs, alcohol, etc…It was tough for me, but I found something I loved (watching L J play, and collecting him) and tried to spend as much time doing that, to take my mind off what was really going on in my life. Still to this day I haven’t taken a sip of alcohol or tried a single drug, ciggerette in my life! Nor will I ever.. I grew up pretty poor so I didn’t get a chance to go to any NBA games and buy a lot of the things I wanted. So I saved as much money as I could, buy cutting grass, cleaning up for people, etc..anything I could to help get new L J items. This gave me peace and joy in my life and still does to this day.

I’ve been lucky enough to get to know Larry on a personal level and he couldn’t be a nicer guy. It just made all those years of collecting him that much better…He thinks my collection is amazing and he is very humble by it. I’m so proud of my collection and how much it has helped me become who I am.

If you think I’m crazy that is fine and your own opinion, which you’re intitled to. Although I just think it shows my dedication to something I love to do!

Patrick Copeland
Larry Johnson’s Biggest fan!”

You know what, good for you Mr. Copeland. You were able to take a joke and defend yourself well. I don’t know if I can say the same for your chums that ganged up on poor, little old me in the comments section, but I really thought you were going to go apeshit and hunt me down like an animal. I assumed the last thing I ever saw would be you standing over me in my six-foot-deep hole, fist connected to elbow to form the “Big L”, as your cronies shoveled dirt on me and buried me alive. I’d probably also get pissed on in that hole, or maybe have the LJ wine poured on me.

Thankfully, it seems that won’t happen. So, keep on keepin’ on. I may have ridiculed you for buying a Larry Johnson onesie (and I probably still will), but I’m also a guy that owns a set of Zubaz diapers. Maybe we’re kindred spirits.

There is one thing that remains fact after all of this. Larry Johnson is the FUCKING MAN.

Sweet mother of sanity …

Shit, I’ll admit to being a big Larry Johnson fan. Thanks to his time with the Knicks, I became quite fond of Grandmama and “The Big L” he dropped on teams after drilling a big 3-pointer. I’d bust that move out in college during beer pong, and from time to time I’d rock my LJ jersey that I bought in 8th grade.

But this guy … wow. Where do I even start?

LJ’s self-proclaimed “Biggest Fan” first slithered into the public consciousness with a post on a Knicks forum I frequent. As you’ll notice, he gave us a glimpse into the mind of a madman with all kinds of disturbing Larry Johnson-related information in his posts and pictures. And, if you are a curious soul like I am, you followed the link he provided to his photobucket account. That’s where things got really freaky:

Exhibit A:

Nothing too nutty there. I mean, that’s a lot of game-worn sneakers to own of one player, but whatever floats your boat man. I bet nothing is better than that first whiff of LJ’s foot in the morning. Mmmm … that LJ 1997 vintage really gets the day started right.

Ok, the hour of wearing LJ’s game-worn skivvies on our head is better, but we keep that one a secret …

Exhibits B and C:

Something you’d expect to see in a comic book store or at a convention, but we’ll still give you the benefit of the doubt …

Shit man, another card display? Sweet Jesus. How much room does that take up?

Exhibit D:

Hmmm … a used french fry wrapper. That’s kind of gross. I wonder how many times it has been licked.

Exhibit E:

Was this ad even really worth keeping? LJ’s pictures seems to be chosen just in passing. Does Brother Johnson keep every newspaper clipping that mentions Larry? I bet he points out the name”Larry” or “Johnson” every time it’s used anywhere. “Hey wifey, check it out … Larry ‘The Cable Guy’ is on TV.” “Did you pick up the Johnson and Johnson baby powder?” “I’m inquiring about the position at your company, but I am curious … how many Larrys work there? I need at least three.”

If he doesn’t call his grandmother “Grandmama,” I’d be throroughly shocked.

Exhibit F (The Clincher):

Not sure what that is? Need a closer look? Be prepared …

OK, guy, now you’ve crossed the line. How the fuck did you even obtain this thing? The black market? Why would you even want it? Do you pour it on your balls when you are feeling especially blue?

Exhibit G:

Good god, I think I’m going to be sick …

Exhibit H:

I’m speechless …

I think you’ve seen enough. But, if you want to see more of the — literally — thousands of Larry Johnson trinkets, memorabilia and pubic hair this man has collected over the years, just check out the photobucket link.

And Larry … beware.

Too much of this …

… could lead to this:

PS - I wasn’t going to bag on this guy at first, but the wine thing put me over the edge. Also, he’s not a real Knicks fan, he’s just a Larry Johnson fan and those people plain piss me the fuck off. Who wants to make a bet that this guy has already requested “Larry Johnson’s Biggest Fan” to be enscribed on his tombstone? Kind of sad, no?