Seeking:  Head Football Coach for Multi-million dollar Miami Dolphin Franchise.  Needs to look like Adolf Hitler.  Name must be marketable, (i.e. Homer Simpsen, Michael Jacksen, Tom Bradee).

Salary & Benefits:  Anal rapings by Bill Parcells.

Sports Illustrated put out a ranking of the 31(2) NFL football stadiums.  It’s pretty comprehensive as it rates things like food, neighborhood, quality of team and tailgating. 

Sadly, the stadium with the best statistical odds of claiming the number 1 spot (Giants Stadium - Home of the New York Giants and the New York Jets) had an average score of 28 out of 31(2).  Ouch.

Too bad “Famous Mobster Conspiracy Theories” wasn’t a category…..they definitely would have had a shot then.

How has Navy not beaten the Terrorists yet? I mean that option is MEAN. Almost unstoppable. How in God’s name are the Terrorists figuring it out? I mean are they running some sort of unheard of defense designed by Osama himself? Is Allah really on their side after all? Surely they don’t have more game tape then Charlie Weis had for that game…….do they?

These are questions that need answers folks………..football is all America has left.

Raider fans will have an unprecedented opportunity to watch actual football on Sunday.  A blackout looms (should be announced by 4pm according to this) which will mean, that instead of taking a well deserved nap during their contest with Houston, they can watch New England @ Indianapolis.

And all the people rejoiced.

In case you don’t know, Deanna Favre beat cancer.  She had breast cancer and has since whipped it’s ass into remission.  But damn, if I was cancer I wouldn’t want anything to do with Deanna either.  I mean that’s all she can talk about.  Cancer this and cancer that.  She had the original idea for “steal a base, steal a taco” but the MLB wouldn’t go with “steal a base, get a mammogram“.

If I were cancer I would have closed up shop as quickly as possible because she’s ruining my livelihood.  Pointing out how to find me, how to get rid of me.  It’s as if Deanna is some sort cancer whistle-blower.  Hell if, heaven forbid, Deanna and Brett split up she could hook up with Lance Armstrong and together probably produce some sort of anticancer cherubim (equipped with magical yellow bracelets) that go around and just heal people.  Actually, that’s a good idea, somebody get on that.

We’ve been talking a lot of football lately in the zubazpants.com forums.  Check out the sports forum for more Favre and NFL talk.