Ok, so Mike Vick is a prick. We all know that. He pleaded guilty and is now ready for some doggy style of his own. Dog the Bounty Hunter isn’t even coming for his ass, he’s so disgusted.
However, what if the dogs could fight back. Dogs can kick some tailbone and if given the chance, they would make mincemeat of Mike and his “frontline”.

Let’s check out some potential matchups!

Vick Vs. Snoopy

The most notorious dog in history. He’s never in the doghouse; he sleeps on top of it.

Vick plays on a team of 50+, but recently his friends have showed their true feelings. Three of his four buddies have stabbed him in the back and are willing to testify against him. His entourage is thinning like a Hollywood female.

Snoopy on the other hand is rolling 20 deep. You got Charlie, Pig Pen, Schroeder, Linus. Not to mention the groupies. Peppermint Patty, Sally, Lucy. The list goes on and on!

In the end, the Peanuts characters would mop the floor with the Atlanta Flacons. They have been together for just too long and are too loyal.

Winner: Snoopy

Vick Vs. Spud MacKenzie

While Snoops has a good guy image, Spud can keep up with Vick off the field as well. He’s a party animal, pun intended, and has a black eye to prove it.

When he’s not drinking down Budweisers, he’s shooting hoops, racecar driving, and hanging out with beautiful woman.

Vick on the other hand is fighting dogs. Spud is so laid back he falls asleep during football games.

Vick is a prick and shouldn’t even be in the same category as Spud.

Winner by unanimous vote: SPUD!

Vick Vs. this video

No contest, nobody could beat this video.

Winner: the DOGS!!!

WOW, clean sweep! Even I didn’t expect this.

Whether it’s Terrell Owens, Barry Bonds or Mike Vick, ESPN always has something not having ANYTHING to do with sports highlights jammed up in your face. When I eat my bowl of cereal before work, I want to see what happened during the GAMES last night. I want to see balls getting hit out of a stadium with a stick. I want to see balls getting thrown through hoops. I want to see balls getting kicked through goal posts.

Is this so much to ask?

I used to watch SportsCenter to escape from it all, now all I get is an endless loop of Vick — or whoever the current schmuck of the day is — walking in and out of buildings with a bunch of jackasses in tow.

Please make it stop.

Please, let’s go back to the old days … (NSFW)

I’m sorry, that’s what happens to the brain after ESPN launches one of its all-out assaults and has every single person that can form a syllable weighing in on the controversy du jour.

Please guys, just give me some fucking sports highlights. That’s what fucking ESPN is there for. No one gives a flying fuck what a wash-up like Joe Horn thinks about Vick. I think I even heard Bozo the fucking Clown dish out his 2 cents on the subject this morning.

At least we know what a sick fuck he is now …

“The dogs know what happens if they lose, but are still living. Oh yes, they know. BANG BANG, Fido!”