With only one season left before they move into their new digs at the alright sounding but terribly spelled CitiField, the Mets will be wearing the design above on a patch to commemorate 45 years at Shea Stadium.

I’m a Mets fan, but wouldn’t this be like Jesus Christ giving high fives and celebrating his three hours on the crucifix, or Elie Wiesel cherishing those fab moments in the Nazi concentration camps?

Oh, Shea had its charms of course. The cheap tickets, sausage and peppers, and beat-up home run apple were certainly all the tits. But, in reality, Shea was like a mustache grown to be ironic. The only reason we lavished it with praise was because we knew it was actually a shitty place. So bad it was good. A loveable loser of stadiums. You get the point.

I’ll miss Shea — a clusterfuck of concrete, paint and piss — but I’m definitely ready for CitiField.

 The D.C. municipal government is like the Palestinian government, both never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. According to this story in the Washington Post, the D.C. City Council is “outraged” the Washington Nationals plan to kickoff the 2008 season – first in the new Nationals Park — with gala events in Maryland instead of the District of Columbia.Since the city paid for the new stadium (a $611 million price tag), apparently it’s elected officials assumed they’d have a monoply on the team’s business. The majority of money in the region (and there’s a lot) is in Virginia and Maryland. The Nats are wise to chase after it, profit-seekers they be. Plus, the first gala is a chartible event to raise money for youth baseball programs in the District.

 ”That’s like taking a stick and poking your eye,” said council Chairman Vincent Gray (D-Imaginationland). ”What a level of ingratitude. The timing is worse than ever. We’re opening the $611 million stadium and . . . to have the annual banquet in [Maryland], that’s staggering.”

Surely somebody with a llama’s sense for business can explain to the council that more vistors to Nationals Park means more money spent in the city. That money will be taxed and increase the flow of funds into the city’s already swelled coffers. In other news, fire=hot.

 (The above photograph is former D.C. mayor and current council member Marion Barry campaigning for re-election.)

The Kingdome, after it gained sentience and realized the futility of Seattle sports.

Now that the Colorado Rockies got their ass handed to them lost to the Boston Red Sox, only four, bottom-of-the-alphabet teams have failed to appear in the Fall Classic: Seattle, Tampa Bay, Texas and Washington. In comparison to the NFL, only six teams have yet to play in a Super Bowl: Arizona, Cleveland, Detroit, Houston, Jacksonville and New Orleans.

Because Major League Baseball is in its third century, I’m surprised that four teams still haven’t appeared in the World Series. Notice that the four are historically inept, but all relative newbies compared to the majority of franchises. The NFL’s growth, compared to baseball, it meteoric. I’m surprised there aren’t more franchises without appearances.

Who will be the last baseball team not to make the World Series? Who will drive their GMC Official Truck of the Super Bowl to the Big Game last?
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Being a big tattooed monster with the inner core of a goose-feathered teddy bear can really go along way in America. Jason Giambi, who won’t be punished by MLB for his involvement with steroids, is a prime example of this.

Jason Giambi escaped punishment from commissioner Bud Selig on Thursday because of the Yankee slugger’s charitable work and cooperation with baseball’s steroids investigator.

“He’s doing a lot of public-service work, and I think that’s terribly important,” Selig said. “He was, I thought, very frank and candid with Sen. Mitchell, at least that was the senator’s conclusion. Given everything, this is an appropriate decision.”

Wow.

Jason Giambi wakes up in the morning, greases his hair, hugs a couple of weakened children, donates some money, bullshits with a senator about his brilliant acting in The Bronx Is Burning, and he’s cleared of it all.

Barry Bonds would have to give birth to a band of traveling Mother Theresa’s out of his dick head and shit out the clone of Bill Clinton — at the same time — to escape the ire of Selig.

Giambi — causing the eye make-up on a thousand emo souls to run in the streets — proves that being a nice guy does pay off.

Photo Via The Onion

Prince Fielder has been suspended for three-games for bumping home plate umpire Wally Bell during Sunday’s 6-4 loss to the Astros.

The incident occurred after Fielder was caught gawking at strike three.

Had it been a triple cheeseburger …

Fielder, who was blinded with rage, didn’t even realize he had bumped chests with Bell during the altercation and is appealing the suspension.

“We’re both over 250 pounds, so if our stomachs touch, that’s going to happen,” Fielder said.

We’ve heard it before, Prince, but next time you will have to buy two seats on the plane.

Not surprisingly, he’s appealing — turning a cold shoulder toward the fat of the matter.

Cleveland Indians fans are sour.

Following a three-game sweep at the hands of the wallet thumping Yankees, the fans, acting like a jealous boyfriend, were looking at any possible way to get back at the man.

So, what was the straw that broke the camels back?

Horrendous picthing? A deceased offense? Nope.

Derek Jeter bobble heads.

As Cleveland.com reports on their blog, Jacobs Field was selling — gasp– Yankees merchandise!

Lifelong Tribe fan Matt Linse, 33, from Erie, Pa., went to Jacobs Field Saturday night (an 11-2 Yankees thumping) and walked into the team shop to buy one of the “crooked C” hats he wore as a kid in the late 1970s. When he saw an impressive display of Yankees merchandise, he said he wanted to throw up.

“It wasn’t like it was a corner store or some vendor,” said Linse, who was still upset Tuesday. “It’s inside Jacobs Field. And they have all this Yankees stuff!”

Hey! At least you still have Die Hard Night!

As Harry Doyle stated, “It’s free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.”

That is an organization that cares!