With all the hard nosed character that embodies the city of Pittsburgh and the Steelers, it is somewhat surprising that the team has the best female following in the NFL.

A recent survey showed the Steelers have the best female fan following in the league. So, how do you stay fashionable and support your favorite team at the same time?

I am not really sure what ‘best’ is defined as, but KDKA in Pittsburgh ran with it.

Intrepid reporter Kristen Sorensen met up with the Style Sisters and hit the mall to get tips on NFL fashion for women.

Anne, who presumably has a loose pussy, recommends checking your child’s drawer for a jersey. Her so-not-burning-a-bra-at-Heinz-field reasoning is because a tighter fit extenuates the female figure.

I don’t buy it, Anne.

What woman wants to look all hot and spicy in front of a massive heap of viagra-popping, beer-swilling, sausage-grinding creatures?

Anyway, with all that said, I took the liberty of providing some fashion tips for all the ladies out there that will be fantasizing about riding on James Harrison’s throbbing Bang Bros. member attending an NFL game this season.

For the …

New York Jets

Big yellow coat, black collar. Joe Namath’s flaccid inebriated cock gets a heartbeat over that kind of stuff.

Buffalo Bills

Pocketless jeans — that trend is HOT right now in the time warp that is Buffalo. Then just throw on a ‘Jim Kelly destroyed my Mom’s asshole,’ t-shirt.

Miami Dolphins

Go down to the local store. Pick up some walnuts, shave your pits and glue that hair onto the nuts. Attach the nuts to a string and dangle them from your pants. Long Ball Fucking Laura will make up for the lack of testosterone down in Miami.

New England Patriots

It doesn’t really matter what you wear. Bill Belichick has already set up an x-ray system to see what lies beneath the female fan population. He is carefully selecting the best piece of meat to bring home and slam in between heated Risk board game competitions.

New York Giants

Paint your face completely red and wear a Chris Snee jersey that is cut around the neck, exposing maximum amounts of cleavage. On the back, alter the jersey to say, ‘Kate Snee’s Period.’ Watch Tom Coughlin’s cheeks turn red. Repeat as desired. (Snee is married to Coughlin’s daugther, Kate).

Philadelphia Eagles

Sexy RX nurse with a latex glove and enema in hand.

Washington Redskins

Full body condom. Can never be too safe when Smoot is around.

Dallas Cowboys

Dress as Wade Philips’ abortion gone wrong. Just repeat the steps above from Buffalo.

Chicago Bears

Fashion a ‘Rex Grossman deserves to start T-shirt’ with a cannon blowing a huge load onto Griese’s face. (Optional: Cartoon drawing of Rex’s face and arms attached to the cannon — hands should be doing this with a floating Jesus’ hands.)

Detroit Lions

Find that bright orange ‘Fire Millen’ shirt your boyfriend now uses as a cum rag.

Minnesota Vikings

Sexy viking chick with dildos instead of horns on the helemet.

Atlanta Falcons

Dominatrix style getup with a leash and puppy ears attached to your head. Have boyfriend / husband lead you around with a special addition homemade all black Vick jersey.

New Orleans Saints

Gothic ghost of Katrina costume.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Jeff Garcia patchwork jersey. Take a piece from San Fran, Detroit, Philly and Tampa. Alter back of jersey to make it appear as ‘Garcia’d.’ Change the number to 69.

Carolina Panthers

Dress as a sexy baby. Steve Smith has been known to wipe some asses at the stadium.

Cleveland Browns

Shirt that says, ‘Anderson goes deeper.’

By now you get the idea of this madness. Complete the fashion puzzle and pick out a wardrobe for the remaining NFL franchises.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 7th, 2007 at 1:07 am and is filed under BABES, football. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.