Shaquille ‘The Balls Of The 90’s’ O’Neal has filed for divorce after five injury plagued seasons with wife Shuanie.

Hearkening back to the words of the new black messiah, Kanye West, Shaq made sure to write out a prenuptial agreement. However, it is L.A. Confidential.

The couple has four children together and live in a nearly $20 million home on exclusive Star Island. They were married in Beverly Hills in 2002 while Shaq was playing for the Lakers. They have a confidential prenuptial agreement.

But what the fuck do you think was in that pre-nup?

Well, we mused on that question, eventually re-writing a verse and chorus of Kanye’s ‘Gold Digger’ with a hint of Kazzam thrown into the mix. In our minds — since we were perverted young kids — we always thought the biggest issue in a Shaq relationship would be intercourse. Come on, you just know that poor Shaunie’s pussy bottoms out when she walks over speed bumps.

So, this rap is centered around Shaq not being able to take a shallow vag. He needs something XL to really SLAM!

It is titled … ‘Shaq Against A Shallow Vag Digger’

Now I ain’t sayin’ she a shallow vag digger (When I SLAM there ain’t no time for cuddlin’)
But she ain’t messin’ wit no Porky the Pigga (She best use lube)
Now I ain’t sayin’ she shallow vag digger (When I’m in need)
But she ain’t messin’ wit no broke Porky the Pigga (I gotta DEEP when I SLAM)
Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta SLAM)
Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta SLAM)
Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta SLAM)
Get down girl, go ‘head

[Verse 1:]
[Jamie Foxx’s lyrics repeated across verse]
Cutie an IED
Met her at an open bar PBA danceathon
With a baby wabbit! Under her under arm
She said I can tell you SLAM!
I can tell by ya baggy pants, maskin’ what you got

Far as girls you best gots a big vag
I can tell by ya charm and ya arm
But I’m lookin’ for the SLAM, ain’t no and one charity stripe case
Zen Phil told me she’ll have a vag like Niagra Falls
Kobea, Kobecca, four kids at a time poppin’ out
An’ I gotta take all they bad ass to Genie night at Chuckie Cheese
Okay get ya kids but then they got they friends
I pulled up in the entry level cruiser, they all got up in
We all went to din and then I had to keep eating till Jay Mariotti made a quip
If you fuckin’ with this girl then you betta’ feed him raid
You know why
Take too much lube to SLAM! her
From what I heard she got a baby by looking in Dan Patrick’s defeatist eye
My best friend say she used to fuck with Scott Van Pelt, that sensitive crusher
I don’t care what none of y’all say I still the digger of that shallow vag.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 5th, 2007 at 1:47 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.