All is not well in Brady land, despite the happy news you may have heard.

With word out of Boston that Tom Brady’s ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan gave birth to a baby boy for him, a nasty rumor has floated around leading people to believe the child is not Brady’s first.

According to sources close to the Drew Bledsoe family, Brady fucked Drew’s career so viciously that — in some bizarro world twist — Bledsoe somehow became pregnant in early 2002.

“It might sound like something straight out of a Hollywood vehicle written for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito, but I assure it is true,” said Dr. Norman Jones, the Bledsoe family physician. “I couldn’t believe it myself … however, the effects of the Mo Lewis hit combined with Brady’s subsequent raping and pillaging of the NFL and Bledsoe’s career had a profund impact on Drew’s mental state. In the end, he felt like a rape victim, and somehow his brain BELIEVED it too, triggering the pregnancy. I don’t know if stranger things have ever happened.”

The child — named “Guy” by Bledsoe — has been hidden away since birth, but an artist’s rendering does exist:

Well, now we know what happens when you cross a cabbagecock with a twatwaffle.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 at 2:44 pm and is filed under Gay, Kerry Collins Drunk, NFL, Tom Brady. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.