In a very Rodney Dangerfield-esque move, Mike Flynt, 59, is going back to school.

Flynt, who is the son of a Battle of the Bulge survivor, a successful gold miner and earth raper an oil man, was clearly not going to follow Rodney’s steps and join Team Louganuis.

Yes, it had to be the manliest of sports … FOOTBALL.

Flynt returned to Sul Ross State this month, 37 years after he left and six years before he goes on Medicare. His comeback peaked Wednesday with the coach saying he’s made the Division III team’s roster. He could be in action as soon as Sept. 1.

Flynt, who lists getting kicked off the football team his senior year of college as his biggest regret — despite the fact he has been pillaging mother earth’s nether region for god knows how many years — explained how he was going to be able to hang with kids half his age.

“Well, I have old man strength,” he said. “These hands ** Clenches fists as liver spots turn red ** have spanked a lot of ass. I don’t intend on stopping here. And, one more thing, these hemorrhoids ** scrapes ass with sandpaper ** they keep me angry. Real angry.”

Mike Flynt never said the above quotation. And I want to make this clear, since the lunatic was kicked out his senior year of college for breaking too many faces.

Jack La Lanne is smiling down on you, Mike.

Now go get your Rodney Dangerfield on.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007 at 10:24 pm and is filed under football, old man ass. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.