The Life and Times of Joey
Seriously though, what has Joey Harrington ever done to you?
Was this really necessary? Poor Joey …
Hasn’t the poor schmuck been through enough? After being hyped as the savior in Detroit, the dream fell apart as it always does in the Shittown. Or is it shitown? Where the fuck is Ed Kowalczyk when you need him. Oh yeah, touring minor league baseball stadiums with Counting Crows and Collective Soul. No, really.
But yes … good ol’ Joooey. After his escape from Detroit and one-year stint in Miami as Daunte Culpepper’s backup and then starter, Harrington now finds himself as “The Man” in Atlanta. And you know what, Joey thinks he’s going to do alright!
Lord pity his soul. This fuck is clearly batshit insane. First, Jon Kitna’s arrival in Detroit is treated like the second coming of Jesus because the Joey era was so god damn awful, and then he was replaced by 220 pounds of scrambled eggs wearing a No. 10 jersey and a Dolphins helmet.
Trent actually thinks he is dancing with Teresa Marmalede, his high school sweetheart
Shit man, if you’re like me and you have a nice desk job with air conditioning and a computer, it’s like the bosses shitcanning you and sticking five packages of Oscar Meyer bologna loaf in your chair instead. And they did it because they think the job will be done more efficiently by the loaf! We’re not talkin’ bout that fancy bologna loaf with the olives in it either …
But I do have some advice for Joey. After the Vick escapade, it’s time to show the people of Atlanta that you can fucking kill things with your bare hands too. Team up with that crazy shit Joey Porter and show the world that “Joey” ain’t such a faggy name for someone well into adulthood afterall.
KILL THIS MAN:
