So I was at the dentist the other day.
I absolutely dread going to the dentist.
Not necessarily because I have bad teeth problems or anything, more just the creepiness of everything being so damn sterile in there.

Anyways, we got to the end of the cleaning and it was apparently obvious that I…do not floss. I came right out and admitted to not flossing. I’m a steady 2-3 times a day brusher and mouth-washer as well, but flossing just is not my thing.

That’s when something even stranger happened.
The dentist tried to persuade me into flossing by saying:
“You wouldn’t take a shower without cleaning between your toes right? Well it’s the same thing with your teeth.”

That took me by surprise. I love showers…LOVE’EM. I also Consider myself a pretty clean person too. But shit…I don’t ACTIVELY take the time to clean between my toes when I shower. They’re right there sopping up all the soap and water from the rest of the washing…I didn’t think they needed their own attention.

Now I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong here and have been a filthy animal all this time.
So I raise the question to you Zubaz readers: Do you purposely clean between your toes?

This thing was LOADED. Cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, sauteed onions, ketchup, mustard, hot sauce. The regular fries were too much to finish on top of this madness.

I’m not a man of many words, so I will leave you with this semi-decent cellphone picture I took that night.

Everyday, right before our very eyes, countless fat men attempt a staggering feat of deception so grand, the likes of which haven’t been seen since wanksta’s tried to convince society that neck tattoos are an appropriate way to show unbridled love for someone.

What I am referring to is the self-management of the fat man jaw line. 

You don’t have to be Tony Little to realize that the chubbier you get, the more your flabby skin and gooey fat deposits engulf your bones and natural body curves, including the jaw line.  However, instead of embracing this, or maybe using this as motivation to hit the Thighmaster and Soloplex, many fat men go in a furrier direction.  Instead, they attempt to disguise their gluttonous face and trick the world into thinking they are petite by growing one of the worst facial hair monstrosities of all time, the chin strap. 

Here is Big Pun representing the fatty nation.

Maybe it’s to help them think they aren’t as gargantuan as they really are.  Maybe it’s to save what little pride and self-esteem they may have.  Maybe it’s because their face plumps up so large they don’t have enough razor to shave that big of a surface area.

Regardless of the reason, one thing is for sure…they aren’t fooling anyone but themselves.  We know the edge of the chin strap isn’t your jaw line.  We know that your jaw line is actually deep underneath that thigh of a mandible.  Hell, we may even know what you had for lunch since it’s caught in that pubic hair you call a beard.

Just do yourself and all of us a favor.  Shave it off. We see right through that gimmick.  And really, it’s ok to be fat.  I for one do not care, and I will not judge you based solely on your weight. Well, unless you can’t see your dick.  If that’s the case, then I won’t lie…I am judging you.  But generally speaking, just embrace your look and be proud of who you are.  But if you can’t and you insist on having a jaw line, hit the gym, not the Mach 3.

If this new genre were a ship, it would be docked at a huge hipster seaport in Brooklyn, NY; And if you had to pick a crew of scallywags to maintain the ships course, that bunch would be Neon Indian, an Austin, TX band who’re proving that Animal Collective and MGMT aren’t the only ones quirky enough for the masses.

Late last year they released their debut album, “Psychic Chasms” and after a few listens through, you can’t help but get excited for their sophomore follow-up.

Seriously, I challenge you to not like this song:

Man In Box is the brainchild of British TV presenter and DJ Tim Shaw and a few of his friends.

The Concept: Tim is locked inside a box that looks to be about 2 feet tall, 7 feet long and maybe 4 feet wide?  Ok, ok the point is…it’s REALLY small.  He will be in the box for 30 days and 30 nights.

He was driven around for 10 hours blindfolded before being put in the box, which is in an secret location.  The only information Tim has of his own whereabouts is that it’s somewhere in the UK he’s been before.

Inside the box with him is around $30k.  Anyone watching, at anytime, can attempt to guess where Tim is by dropping a pin on a Google map and hoping for the best.  Guess correctly, and the red light you see in the box turns green, Tim is immediately let out, and you…win that cold hard cash. Considering you have the entire UK to choose from, it’s nearly impossible to simply guess at his location and expect to be right….and much to Tim’s chagrin…he’s still got 20 days left.

PRESS PLAY ON THE BOX BELOW TO WATCH THE LIVE FEED
If it’s dark…that probably means it’s lights out…so come back later or hit the official site for a 12 hr. delay feed to see what Tim was up to earlier. He’s always trying to come up with hints about his location in hopes that someone might let him free.

You can thank me later for the heads-up on the cameo of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes 1 & 3’s Casey Jones.

Seriously. GO. Theater. Now.

In the past we’ve been confused with our identity, but this time around we have decided to throw all of that out the window.

Sit tight and enjoy the ride that is Zubaz.

With that, I leave you with a message from the unofficial ZubazPants.com mascot, Macho Man Randy Savage…

So this is the last season at Yankee Stadium. It’s great to be a part of, cause even if we suck the fans will still come for the gimmick year. Pride, Power, Pinstripes was last year’s saying. Lifes a Beach is this years motto.

Also part of my new contract entitles me to 30 DL days, gotta use them or lose them.

So what do I think fo the new guys?

They suck, all of them. Especially Morgan Ensberg.

First day he comes up I tell him to hold my bats for me during batting practice, and he fucking pretended not to speak to Spanish.

I said, “Hey amigo, chop chop, ¡Andale! ¡Andale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!”

Then I realized I wasn’t speaking to Alberto Gonzales, the infield utility guy.

It was Morgan. What baseball player has that name anyway?

I thought I was getting a water girl when I saw that name on the roster text I got from D2J, Derek Jeter.

Aight I gotta go get ready to go out, Latroy Hawkins snuck a bottle into the clubhouse cause he heard the game might be rained out, so I’ve been wasted since noon.

Then I took a nap in the trainers room. Just told Girardi I was resting my knee, or quad, or whatever it was.

Before I go, check out this glossy photo I got of Shane Spencer from a few years back! Man he was so gay, Manny Ramirez sent this to me Opening Day.

Manny you so crazy.

Alex’s A-vice for the Week:

“Always swing for the homer, even if you fail, there’s always the next at-bat”

Chow

It is audio of Buzz Bissinger ranting and raving about !BLOGS! on the HBO show Costas Now, which featured Deadspin’s Will Leitch.

Bob Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street”plays beneath the flames.

The background clips show the evolution of mass media.

Not surprisingly, we used Wikipedia to hammer out the time line.

Get a glimpse into the eye of the devil at the end of this vid.

We’ve been talking about it for a long time.

At least since February.

That this year’s NBA playoffs would be the best in the history of the NBA.

We may end up being wrong, but so far it’s been fun to watch.

The Hornets are about to knock out the Mavericks, which many fans would consider an upset. I mean the Mavs traded a LOT to get Jason Kidd. Kidd all of a sudden looks like an Atari compared to Chris Paul.

Even though the Spurs are up 3-1, nobody should count the Suns out. Game 1 was historic and you can bet the Suns won’t go out easy, if they go out at all…..

Utah and the Lakers are keeping up their end of the bargain.

Now to the East.

I feel filthy watching the Cavs-Wiz. All the Wizards hate Lebron James and they like to physically abuse him every chance they get. I would just love to see Lebron go ape shit and slap the shit out of Deshawn Stevenson, but that’s why Lebron is so good, he’s not stupid like 90% of NBA players.

The Magic and finishing the Raptors this very minute.

And the Celtics might run into a little speed bump with the Hawks.

But how about those fucking 76′ers. Scaring the shit out the Pistons as we speak.

Win or loss, you have to feel good about yourself if your a Sixer fan. If it wasn’t for a fierce 2nd half the other night by Detroit, Philly was looking at a 3-1 lead.

They make the Pistons look old, and the beginning of the end for Detroit may have been pronounced these past few games.

Everybody has always said the first round was the best, and now it just got better.

Except those 2-headed commercials. Them are just plain ugly, especially the one with Jason Kidd and Chris Paul. Nastyville.