They get throttled on the field by behemoths and get their balls squeezed by the vice like hands of Mike Vrabel. But who caresses their broken bodies on Monday?And who massages their balls on Tuesday?

It is none other than the WIVES OF THE NFL.

So come along with us and take a sneak peak into the lives of these women as we meander through their 2-d portraits …

After strolling to the corner patisserie for tea and crumpets, Thomas and Gisele returned to their abode to shit all over eachother.

“Ho, get the fuck behind me!” Daunte spat through clenched teeth. “I can’t be seen in public with no bitch that looks like a fucking soda can!”

“Bald prick … ,” muttered Mrs. Matt Hasselbeck. “If this were 1940, I’d be massaging Hitler’s one ball instead.”

“David took so many hits in the pocket that even David Jr. was effected … “
**Piss trickles down her back**
“He even has happy dick like Papa Carr!”

“In the Matrix, we know ‘Where da white women at,’” bellowed David Garrard.